I don’t know why but even after three years of being with my significant other, I still have the need to be held, to be told that he loves me (constantly), to have my hair played with, or even just that look – the look of happiness, the little glow in the corner of the eye. The feeling of knowing that you are loved and cared about is one of the most amazing feelings I have ever been able to feel. So why when I know this, when we as women know that our significant other loves us, do we need to be constantly reminded? Why is it so much easier for women to say how they feel on a daily basis and men are like locked diaries? Why when we dress up do we need to be told that we look good, even if its just once in a while? Why when we dress in bummy cloths can’t we still feel beautiful and not have the constant need to impress the other person.

I know that there are many women out there who will preach that they are completely comfortable with how they look and what they wear and that no man’s opinion will affect their perception. Personally, I think its a load of crap. Eventually believing in yourself gets old and the need to hear it from that one person that you believe is your world will be important. Just last night I needed to wash my hair and I knew I wasn’t going to do my hair or make up until the morning, I felt so uncomfortable and embarrassed it was ridiculous. I put on tight yoga pants and a belly shirt praying that the fact that my hair was a disaster, my skin was pale and my face certainly wasn’t put on wouldn’t make him look at me in disgust.

I once had this boyfriend who was slightly intoxicated one night. We had been going back and forth about not being intimate and I told him how I felt that he didn’t want to touch me anymore because he didn’t feel attracted to me. I waitress at night, I know I smell like fish and restaurant in general, so I took a shower after work. He came into the bathroom lightly held my chin and brought my face to look in the mirror. The words he said ill never forget – to look in the mirror and how could I wonder why he isn’t attracted to that. It was one of the worst nights of my life, and now every time I look at myself fresh out of the shower or before I go to bed I look at myself in disgust. If a relationship was based off a looks I would never be loved. Self confidence is obviously the key here. So how do we get it? How do we build ourselves up, not to have an ego, but to have the perfect amount of confidence and self-esteem not to hate ourselves every time we look in the mirror not dressed like we have to impress the world? How do we become happy with ourselves so that others can be happy with us as well? Because as we all know, we can’t expect love from others when we don’t first love ourselves, right?